


what am i to you?

by sunprincewonpil (astrorarepairs)



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: M/M, pining. so much pining, the sungpil is one-sided, unrequited... unless, what can I do MV au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrorarepairs/pseuds/sunprincewonpil
Summary: What grave sin did Wonpil commit in his past life, to suffer two unrequited loves in the span of a few months?
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Kim Wonpil, Kim Wonpil/Park Sungjin
Comments: 46
Kudos: 260





	1. i like you

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's still not over the "what can i do" mv even after 2 years? i saw a [youngpil comic on twitter](https://twitter.com/chocolatestopit/status/1165175305201283072) that inspired me to write this, so i figured why not try haha
> 
> this is my first time writing for day6 despite stanning them since 2017, because youngpil is my otp and i wanted to contribute to the tag :)

Wonpil sighed as he leaned back against the concrete wall, rubbing his hands together to get rid of the coldness that anxiety brought upon his entire body. He felt nauseous. He felt as if his body wanted to get rid of the unwanted and deeply buried feelings that had surfaced over the past few days. In an act of both distracting and punishing himself, he tried to recall every event that had lead him to his present situation but fell short; Wonpil couldn't clearly remember when it all started, but he knew that he had fallen in love with his best friend.

Sungjin, his best friend ever since childhood.

Sungjin, his best friend who was in love with someone else.

The realisation struck him in a bus, unwelcome and abrupt. As Sungjin's back became smaller in his view in order to chase after Minjung, all he could feel was the tightening in his chest. A few days ago, when he watched his best friend take secret glances at their classmate in the library, he thought, _You're so obvious, just go for it and confess_. When Sungjin left Wonpil's side and ran after her, what he thought was, _Don't go_. 

Wonpil didn't like any of it—he didn't like being in love with his best friend and he didn't like feeling as if he had betrayed their friendship by harboring more than platonic feelings for Sungjin. He also didn't like watching Sungjin gaze at Minjung as if she was the reason he went to school everyday, but it's not as if he had control over that one. What he can control, was himself and his own feelings, and he was determined to do something about it.

Which lead him to decide to confess behind their school's gym. He wanted to wait until they were on their way home together, but something was crawling further up his throat as the day went on, so he decided to advance the dreaded confession. He had to get everything out in the open as soon as possible and be over with it.

Wonpil's vision seemed to blur as he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. His struck his hand against his chest once, twice, before he faced his best friend. He really felt like he was about to throw up.

"Pil? Why'd you call me out here?" Sungjin said as he wiped away sweat caused by the after-school basketball match happening inside the gym.

"I have something to say to you," Wonpil was able to croak out. _Now or never. It's now or continue suffering alone with these feelings._

Sungjin raised his eyebrows, signalling to go on with what he wanted to say. His best friend was smiling at him; Wonpil embedded that image in his mind, in case he might never see it again after his confession. For a moment, he hesitated, thinking whether it was worth it to risk losing Sungjin's friendship just so he could get over his own feelings. Before his mind could make up a clear decision, his mouth had already betrayed him.

"I like you."

Wonpil watched as Sungjin's smile fade and as he let out a sound that was a mix between a laugh and a scoff. And then, a frown.

"Wait... you're not joking?"

"I wish I was," Wonpil said as a bitter laugh escaped him before he could stop it.

Sungjin ran a hand through his hair, looking at the ground. "You know I'm... I'm not-"

"I know you don't like me back, and I don't expect you to. I just... I just wanted to be honest with you. Because you're my best friend." 

Wringing his hands together, Wonpil waited in as Sungjin processed his words. Every second of silence made him want to swallow his words back in, to tell his best friend that it was all just a prank; but he knew Sungjin wouldn't fall for it. The damage had been done, and Wonpil was just waiting for the severity of the consequence. 

"I'm sorry, Pil," Sungjin finally said, followed by his retreat into the gym, leaving Wonpil to stare at his back.

 _This feels familiar_ , he thought. Wonpil tried putting on a smile, telling himself that the worst was over and that he was one step closer to getting over his best friend; but it didn't take long for the tears to flow instead. He slumped into a squat, not caring if his pristine uniform was being stained by the dirty wall---he needed something to support him, now that the person he could lean on was out of his reach, possibly forever. He messed up. He messed up because he was selfish, when he could have just kept his feelings to himself and worked alone to get rid of it without Sungjin ever knowing. Sobs racked his body without pause, making it harder and harder for him to breathe.

"Hey. Kim Wonpil."

With the mention of his name, Wonpil's head snapped up to the direction of the voice. There was a blur of purple, white, and flesh, before he rubbed away his tears to see who it was looming above him and was apparently holding out a handkerchief. 

"Younghyun?"

His classmate strongly shook the hand holding out the handkerchief, which made Wonpil automatically take it and wipe his tears. He glanced at Younghyun, not knowing what to say in the awkward situation besides mumbling a "thanks". He and Younghyun weren't close, and they had barely spoken to each other ever since they were classmates in middle school; Younghyun always kept to himself while Wonpil and Sungjin were attached to each other's hip. Wonpil didn't want to be caught in his current state, but he was just out of luck today.

Younghyun cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to, but I saw you and Park Sungjin earlier. I was on the way to the basketball game."

Wonpil felt tears sting his eyes again and panic rising up his chest. "Please... don't tell anyone," he said between hiccups.

"I'm not going to. Don't worry." Wonpil mumbled his thanks again, expecting Younghyun to walk away in his usual cool, uncaring manner; to Wonpil's horror, his classmate squatted next to him instead, looking like he had no intention of leaving Wonpil to his own misery. 

"What-"

"I'm waiting for you to be done with my handkerchief," Younghyun said, looking at the cloth clutched in Wonpil's fist. "Wow, you really cried a lot."

Younghyun's offhand remark annoyed Wonpil. "Sorry, but I really want to be alone right now. I'll wash your handkerchief and give it back to you tomorrow."

He wiped his tears and stood up, ignoring Younghyun's eyes that were trained on him. As Wonpil fleed, he saw his classmate smile in the corner of his eyes, but he didn't have the strength anymore to think about what Younghyun meant with the action. All he wanted to do was to go home, plop down on his bed, cry some more, and sleep the day away.

Now that he got rejected by Sungjin, his (former?) best friend seemed to be everywhere, but nowhere near Wonpil. He missed Sungjin; they were never too far apart for long ever since they were children, but with yesterday's confession, Wonpil completely understood if Sungjin couldn't look at him anymore. Wonpil wasn't sure either if he could bear to look at Sungjin in the eyes without feeling guilt and embarrassment. The moment he got to their classroom, he asked to exchange seats with any of his classmates near the back row; only one person agreed, and that person happened to be sitting in front of Younghyun. Wonpil didn't want to be near Younghyun, but his desire to stay away from Sungjin was stronger.

When Sungjin entered the room, Wonpil made eye contact with him out of habit. Wonpil looked away first and Sungjin sat down without a word.

Wonpil thought that his plan of avoiding Sungjin forever was going well, until he saw him walking towards his new seat as class ended and lunch break began. Wonpil gripped his desk, panic starting to creep in. He needed to stand up and run away before Sungjin reached him, but his entire body was frozen.

"Come on, let's go eat."

Wonpil turned around. That wasn't Sungjin.

Leaning towards him with a hand on Wonpil's chair, was Younghyun. His face was so close that all Wonpil could do was stare at him for a moment, and then without much thought, clutched Younghyun's arm to pull himself out of his seat. They left the classroom with Wonpil clinging onto Younghyun as if he was his lifeline; if Wonpil cared, he would have been embarrassed with the amount of looks they were receiving—Sungjin was gaping at them, Minjung's and Park Jaehyung's eyes were blown wide, and even Yoon Dowoon, who was just usually sleeping, was looking at the odd pair.

But at that moment, all Wonpil could focus on was Younghyun.


	2. today, lean on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your nice comments! it's been a while since i've written fic and your comments really just made my heart warm. thank you thank you.

Younghyun lead the way in silence as Wonpil briskly shuffled his feet in order to catch up with his classmate’s long strides; his grip on Younghyun’s arm had loosened and eventually fell around his wrist instead. Wonpil didn’t care anymore if people thought they were holding hands—his physical contact with Younghyun was the only thing that was calming him down and receding the panic Sungjin’s action had caused.

When the school’s external wall came into view after a few minutes of following Younghyun, Wonpil decided it was time to break the silence that had become comfortable.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

“We’re going to eat,” Younghyun said, as if Wonpil should have already known the answer.

They were surrounded by trees, soil, and some trashcans; it wasn’t exactly the perfect picnic spot, and they didn’t have any food with them. Wonpil frowned. “Right here?”

Instead of answering, Younghyun started climbing the tree next to the wall; he had one foot stepping on a branch and one on top of the wall, giving Wonpil the fear that he might fall. Wonpil stepped near the tree, arms outstretched in case Younghyun accidentally slipped.

“The cafeteria food isn’t good enough for me. There’s more food outside.”

Younghyun grabbed a branch and stooped to reach out his hand. Wonpil wasn’t sure if it was the sunlight or something else, but looking at Younghyun was almost blinding.

If this was a normal day, Wonpil wouldn’t have climbed the tree. He was a good student with a sparkling clean record that needed to be maintained. If he was with Sungjin, he would’ve talked him out of it and dragged him back inside the campus.

But it wasn’t a normal day, and Sungjin was further from him than he has ever been.

Wonpil took his hand. Younghyun grinned.

“So… in love with your best friend, huh?”

Wonpil choked on his fry, reaching for the water on his right. It took him three gulps and a dozen of thumps on his chest before he felt like he could breathe again. He glared at Younghyun, who was happily taking a bite out of his burger like he didn’t just almost kill Wonpil. He knew Younghyun had a straightforward attitude, but being on the receiving end of it was not good for his heart or his blood pressure.

Truth be told, Wonpil has been wanting to confide in someone about his current dilemma; the person he could once tell everything to was now the main source of his problems at present, and it wasn't like he had any other options other than Younghyun. 

“I wish I didn't realize my feelings,” he began. "I knew I liked him a lot, as a friend. We've been best friends for so long and I thought that's all it is but lately whenever I see him smile at... someone else, it's just—"

"Unbearable."

Wonpil blinked at Younghyun. "Yeah."

Younghyun stole a couple of fries from Wonpil's tray, nodding at him to continue. Wonpil was too caught up in his emotions to chastise Younghyun, so he let the fries go.

"And now I want to avoid him at all costs, but I forgot how he's everywhere. We were seatmates, we're partners in school projects, we're close with each other's family, and we even take the same route of commute because he literally lives across my house. I don't know how I can get away from him."

“I could walk with you to school,” Younghyun suggested.

Wonpil almost choked. Again. “But—why?”

"Why not? I live in the same neighborhood too, remember?" He added, “And your situation is kind of funny. I want to see what happens next.”

“Oh, so you like seeing me suffer, is that it?”

“Not really,” Younghyun said with a surprising amount of sincerity that it rendered Wonpil speechless for a few seconds. The entire time, Younghyun never broke eye contact, and Wonpil had to pretend that the growing blush on his cheeks was because of the warm temperature inside the restaurant. Younghyun's suggestion was something he would've never imagined he'd say, but Wonpil supposed that he was being pitied.

He thought of the pros and cons. The pros were that he can avoid Sungjin, he doesn't have to always walk alone, and he would have someone to hide behind if any of Sungjin's family saw him since Mrs. Park in particular liked chatting in the mornings.

_And the cons..._

_Huh. What are the cons?_

It seems like it wasn't too much of a bad idea than he thought. 

Wonpil averted his gaze. "I guess you can be helpful. Sungjin probably won't talk to me if you're there too."

"Alright then. I'll be picking you up starting tomorrow." Younghyun continued after swallowing the fries he stole, "Why do you want to avoid him so bad anyway?"

"Because I was rejected? Because he probably hates me?"

"What if he doesn't?"

Even if he didn't, everything has changed and Wonpil wasn't too prepared to face it yet. He shook his head. "Anyway, I'm not ready to talk to him again. I want to let the wound close for a bit first."

Younghyun shrugged.

The embarassment of pouring his heart out to a classmate he wasn't exactly friends with was slowly starting to get to Wonpil. The topic had to be changed. He had an idea on how to put Younghyun on the spot the same way he did to Wonpil earlier.

“Enough about my sad love life. What about you and Minjung, huh?”

“What about us?“ Younghyun asked as he sipped on his cola.

“Don’t you like each other?”

“And what made you think that?”

“I saw you guys… on the swing set.”

“That’s it?” He asked with a teasing smile.

Wonpil was growing frustrated. Younghyun didn't seem like he was being affected at all. “Well, you haven't answered my question. You like her?”

Younghyun hummed. "She's nice."

"That's not a yes or a no!" Wonpil huffed, mumbling about why he even bothered asking. Younghyun was laughing at him, his head all thrown back and both his hands holding the table so he wouldn't fall from his seat. Seeing him like that somehow dissipated Wonpil's annoyance. He realized that this was his first time seeing Younghyun laughing so loudly.

It took around two minutes for Younghyun to settle down and wipe away tears on his eyes.

"Lunch break's almost over. Let's go back," Younghyun said, pushing his seat back and picking up his tray; and just like that, the topic was dropped without further discussion.

Sungjin always played in the gym with their classmates after classes ended, and Wonpil watched (with his face hidden behind a textbook) as he left the room with Dowoon and a basketball in hand. The moment Sungjin was out of his sight, he leapt out of his chair, wanting to make his way home without running into his best friend. If Sungjin was going play for an hour or so, that would give him enough time.

"Leaving already?" Younghyun piped up from his seat.

Wonpil chucked his books and pens into his bag, not caring if it was a mess. "Yeah. Gotta go before Sungjin finishes playing basketball."

"Alright, let's go."

"You're... coming with me? But I thought we would only walk to school together." Wonpil said, feeling like he was burdening Younghyun if he would walk with him back home too. "Sungjin always stays behind after school, so I can avoid him on my way back. It's fine."

"I'm not walking home with you."

Wonpil sighed in relief.

Younghyun spoke again with a mischievous glint in his eyes that Wonpil was starting to get so familiar with. "I'm just going home at the same time as you are, and I'm just walking beside you coincidentally. But I'm not walking you home."

All Wonpil could do was groan.

Their walk home wasn't as quiet as Wonpil thought it would be. He learned that Younghyun liked talking about the most random things, such as games on his phone, meals he wanted to learn how to cook, and the music he was listening to lately. He wasn't a chatterbox, but he spoke if something was on his mind. It was easy for Wonpil to continue their conversations; there wasn't an awkward air with Younghyun at all even though they only started talking yesterday.

"This is me," Wonpil said as they reached the front of his house. He added a bit more quietly, "Thanks for today."

Younghyun nodded and surprised Wonpil by turning around, walking towards where they came from.

"Wait, Younghyun! Isn't your house the other way?"

"I have an interview for a part time job at a cafe," Younghyun said, contributing further to Wonpil's confusion.

"So you just—" 

Younghyun started walking, waving goodbye without facing Wonpil. "Go inside. See you tomorrow."

Wonpil gaped, and continued to do so even when Younghyun wasn't in his view anymore.

_So you just really walked me home?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you found some grammatical errors, please tell me!
> 
> anyway thank you for reading and i shall do my best to keep up this pace in writing. fingers crossed that work doesn't get too crazy!


	3. each day is changing, and i like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always for the kudos and comments, they really keep me going~  
> sorry if this seems too slow burn. things are going to happen i promise!! i've outlined this fic and i think it may have around 6-8 chapters so let's do thissss

"Pillie! There's a handsome young man waiting for you outside!"

His mother's booming voice sent Wonpil into a dash despite having a missing sock and no jacket to beat the cold outside. From the stairs, he could hear his mother convincing Younghyun to come inside their house for breakfast. Wonpil's mother didn't have a filter most of the times, meaning he had to get Younghyun away from her as fast as he can to avoid a potentially embarrassing incident. They just started to become sort of friends—Wonpil didn't need Younghyun to hear less than flattering snippets from his childhood that his mom loved telling everyone.

As soon as Wonpil stepped out of their gate, he leapt in front of his classmate, shielding Younghyun's larger frame with his body as if he needed to be physically protected from his mom.

"Mom! What did you say to him? Did you say something weird?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Pillie. I was just asking him how long you've been friends and if he's friends with Sungjinnie too."

Wonpil felt something heavy being loaded on his shoulders. He looked back at Younghyun with wide eyes. He didn't even realize he wasn't wearing a jacket—the running he did from his bedroom to the gate was enough to keep him warm.

"Oh, my! What a nice young man," his mother cooed at them. "Are you sure you don't want to come in for breakfast, Younghyun?"

Younghyun smiled in apology. "Next time, Mrs. Kim. We can't be late for school."

"Yeah, mom. We gotta get going," Wonpil said, lightly pushing his mother back into their house before he turned to Younghyun again.

"Stay here, okay? Don't come inside or else you might not get out in time for school," he warned Younghyun as he shrugged off the jacket. He didn't have time to think about how nice Younghyun's jacket smelled, how it was automatic for him to lend it to Wonpil, and how its warmth seemed to linger deep inside his body.

"Your mom's great," Younghyun said when they were out of his mom's earshot—which might as well be around a kilometer.

"Oh god, did she say anything embarrassing?" Wonpil asked. He had his hands raised up, ready to cover his ears. 

"Only about how you used to get ready early and sit outside your door to wait for Sungjin, so you two could always walk to school together."

Wonpil wailed, "That was just in middle school!" He could still hear Younghyun's loud laughter despite his hands pressing down on his ears.

Desperate to change the topic, Wonpil dug something out of his bag and pressed it onto Younghyun's chest. He stopped laughing to look at it.

It was his handkerchief, wrapped in a zip bag with a small note pasted on top.

"I forgot to give it back yesterday," Wonpil explained. 

Younghyun pocketed the piece of paper while he put the handkerchief in his bag. Wonpil hoped he wouldn't throw the note away. He actually debated with himself whether he was going to stick the note or not; it took him 10 minutes to decide what sticky note design he was going to use and it took him 20 minutes more to decide what he was going to write. In the end, all he wrote was "thanks."

"Are you done crying over Sungjin?"

"Yes." Wonpil was met with a raised eyebrow. "No. I don't know... soon, I hope."

Younghyun had that look in his face that told Wonpil he was about to get teased; he scrambled to speak before Younghyun could do so. "By the way, how was your part time job interview?"

"I got it. I'll be working nights and weekend mornings at the cafe near the school."

"Didn't you have a part time job before?" Wonpil remembered seeing him behind the counter at a convenience store in their neighborhood when he trailed behind Sungjin during his sudden night cravings. He also wanted to ask why Younghyun needed to have a part time job, but he refrained, thinking that it might be too invasive.

"Yeah, but the boss was an asshole. He accused me of stealing money from the register." Younghyun laughed as Wonpil scrunched his nose and angrily mumbled about how the situation wasn't fair. "Minjung happened to be there one night so she dragged me out of there and I quit my job."

 _Oh._ _He probably likes her._

Wonpil continued the walk to school with a newfound heaviness in his heart that he refused to identify as disappointment.

It might be out of habit, or maybe he liked causing his own pain, but Wonpil couldn't help glancing at Sungjin during class. As per usual, his best friend was busy trying to look like he wasn't watching Minjung; as if the smile on his face was because of the lesson and not because he thought Minjung looked cute brushing back her hair when it got in the way of her note-taking. Her rejection clearly didn't change anything for Sungjin, and Wonpil wished it could stay the same between them as well. But with how there's still a twisting pain in his chest when he looks at Sungjin, he knows it will take a while before he can move on and try to restore what their friendship used to be. 

"—partner for this project," his teacher said. He didn't realize he was too engrossed in his angst to hear the details for their final arts project.

The classroom was filled with murmurs and movement; his classmates started standing and crossing the classroom to get to their friends. He turned in his seat to look at Younghyun, who appeared to be bored yet still attentive in class.

"What do we need to do again?"

"We need to pair up for a project. Our class' chosen medium was photography, so we take pictures of our partner or something."

For a moment, Younghyun's eyes flitted to somewhere behind Wonpil. He spoke again, "He was looking at you."

"He was?" Wonpil resisted the urge to verify what Younghyun said; if they make eye contact, then it's game over for him.

Younghyun nodded. "You don't want to pair up with him?"

"I'm sure. Being by his side and taking his photos... no way," Wonpil said with a small shudder. He didn't want to torture himself even further by voluntarily jumping into that situation. He needed every excuse to spend less time with Sungjin for now, not more. He was glad that the project was only announced today and not a few days ago, or else he would've been stuck with Sungjin as his partner and they would have to finish the project in spite of his confession.

He tapped Younghyun's desk, wanting to get his attention but unable to make eye contact. "Would you be my partner? If that's okay?"

"I'm cool with it."

Their teacher explained again what they had to do for the project: they had to pair up with someone and take photos of them that showed their sides that they couldn't see by themselves, or what other people couldn't see. By the end of the semester, they would have a mini-exhibit in their classroom showcasing the photos they took and curated. Their classroom was still buzzing with excitement for the project. Unable to fight curiosity, he looked at Sungjin, who was unexpectedly paired up with Jaehyung. Wonpil could imagine him trying to partner up with Minjung but somehow ending up with her best friend instead. Or maybe Jaehyung didn't even give him the chance to ask Minjung and partnered up with him just to mess with him.

_*click*_

He turned around. For the first time, Wonpil could see traces of being flustered in Younghyun's face as he attempted to put down his phone like he didn't take Wonpil's photo.

"What were you doing?" Wonpil asked just to tease.

Younghyun shrugged, trying to exude his usual nonchalant air. "I'm getting started early on the project. We need to take a lot of photos."

"Turn off the shutter sound next time."

"You turn off the shutter sound next time," he wittily retorted.

Wonpil let out a snicker. He wondered what concept Younghyun had thought of for him since he was already taking photos of Wonpil.

For the rest of the day, Wonpil couldn't focus on classes because was trying to come up with a concept for the photography project, but he didn't know Younghyun that well; all he knew was that he's seen as a delinquent ever since they've been classmates. Honestly, Wonpil didn't know how Younghyun earned that reputation. Save for the times he goes out of school for lunch, he has never seen him break any other rules. Was it because he always walked with his hands in his pockets?

 _Maybe it's his eyes_ , Wonpil thought. _He does seem like he's always glaring._

He wrote in his notebook: _take pictures of him smiling?????_ He then sighed, thinking about how it might be hard to pull off.

"Hey, wanna go eat?" Wonpil heard Younghyun ask from behind him. He didn't even notice that class was over; the photography project was taking up his entire mind.

"There's this new place I wanted to try with you. Heard they have really good ramyeon," he continued.

Wonpil forced himself not to think about how Younghyun said he wanted to eat there _with_ him; when he starts thinking about it, a fluttering feeling grows in his chest. "Yeah, sure, hold on."

Younghyun was leaning on their classroom's doorway, waiting for him to finish packing up his bag. Students who passed by him kept their distance, scared of his scowl and his posture; whenever Younghyun would glance at them, they would yelp and skitter like mice. 

"Come on, let's go," Wonpil said as he approached him.

Younghyun smiled at him, a stark contrast to his expression with others, and Wonpil couldn't help but feel some sense of accomplishment and pride within him rise.

Perhaps his concept for the project wouldn't be too hard to pull off after all.


	4. i'm a man in a movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone thank you for the comments and kudos! it's my first time writing a multi-chaptered fic and actually go thru with it and i'm so glad to hear that you guys are enjoying it so far.
> 
> also! @forochel yes i've seen a lot of youngfeel on korean twitter! i try to read their imagines, incorrect texts, and drabbles too. i've seen that poster mockup as well! i think of [this one](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ELBtZloU8AEHD0n?format=jpg&name=medium) especially as the poster for my fic bc it fits so well haha i love the blurry young k in the back:)
> 
> this chapter took longer bc of the holidays, work, and i got sick for a bit too, so i tried making it a bit longer to make up for it. enjoy!

The routines that Wonpil had gotten used to for the past few years have changed over the course of a few weeks; adjustment wasn't an easy thing, but he found that being with Younghyun wasn't hard at all. He'd gotten used to hanging out with him in school and staying in the cafe where he works at nights if Wonpil wanted to do his homework somewhere with a better ambiance; Younghyun didn't seem to be burdened by his presence, so he would seek his company most of the time. He had also learned to ignore their classmates' curious glances and murmurings whenever they see him apart from Sungjin and closer to Younghyun; there's a part of him that wants to know what's on their minds—if they have a hint of what actually happened or if they're assuming something else—but he liked to think he's absorbed some of Younghyun's nonchalant attitude about it.

Even better, and he didn't think it was possible, but he had gotten used to avoiding Sungjin without the anxiety attached. He stopped playing in the after-school basketball matches and he stayed away from his social media, where his last conversation with Sungjin was slowly getting buried with new messages from other people. Avoidance was easier now, and yet missing Sungjin was a constant but concealed sentiment for Wonpil. He had a feeling that he's getting closer and closer to moving on each day. Hopefully it wasn't just misplaced optimism.

If Saturdays used to mean going with Sungjin around town doing errands or just aimlessly wandering, for Wonpil, the day now meant sitting on _his_ spot (the one nearest to the counter, of course) in the cafe, trying out new drinks Younghyun made, and waiting for a chance to photograph his partner smiling. He wanted to take pictures of Younghyun smiling at customers, but he never wore the big grin Wonpil was looking for.

"This one might be good," Younghyun said as he placed a small mug in front of Wonpil. He had no idea why Younghyun's boss let him experiment with different recipes, because so far he hasn't come up with one that could actually be sold.

Knowing Younghyun wouldn't respond, Wonpil didn't even ask what was in it before he took a sip of the juice that looked a little bit like mud.

"Th—that was absolutely gross," Wonpil squeaked. He quickly downed some water to rinse the bitter taste off his tongue. Tasting Younghyun's experimental drinks always ended this way and at this point, Wonpil was getting used to the weird taste.

As he expected, Younghyun was laughing. Wonpil felt played with, but he took out his phone anyway and snapped a photo before his project partner stopped what he was doing.

"I swear, I tried making it better this time. But I guess kiwi, coffee, and milk don't match well."

"Kiwi and what? Maybe I need to start getting paid as your taste tester."

The chimes hung above the door rang, ending their conversation with Younghyun greeting the new costumer.

The person who entered was Jaehyung, with his pink hair and oversized hoodie, whose eyes flickered from the counter to the seats like he was looking for something. He probably couldn't find whatever it is, as Wonpil saw a pout form on his face. Then Jaehyung's eyebrows rise with recognition when his sight landed on Wonpil. 

"Hey dude! Didn't know you liked this cafe too," Jaehyung said, sitting on the stool beside Wonpil.

"Ah, I'm just here for the free drinks... even though they taste bad most of the times."

"No, they don't," whined the barista.

"Aw man, you get free drinks? Wow the barista has some blatant favoritism I see." Younghyun just shrugged. Jae continued, "Also, it is so weird to see you but not Sungjin. You two were so tight, what even happened with you guys?"

Wonpil squirmed in his seat. He had actually never thought of a cover story about why him and Sungjin aren't currently on speaking terms. He didn't want to tell the truth, but the truth was all that he could think of. He was a bad liar and he didn't know if he should attempt it.

A knock on the wooden counter startled both Jaehyung and Wonpil, jerking their attention to Younghyun.

"What's your order Jaehyung?"

Jaehyung blinked, caught off guard by Younghyun's interruption. "Oh, I'll have a vanilla latte."

Wonpil caught Younghyun's eye as he started preparing Jaehyung's order. "Thank you," he mouthed. 

Jaehyung left with his drink without talking to Wonpil again, much to his relief. It was all thanks to Younghyun, who chatted their classmate up and whipped up his latte in less than 3 minutes; Wonpil didn't know what he would have done without him.

The door chimes rang again.

Wonpil thought it was Jaehyung who had returned, but turned out it was the owner of the cafe who entered this time.

Younghyun bowed. "Good afternoon, boss."

"Good work today, Younghyun." The owner smiled at Wonpil. "Here again, Wonpil? You're really becoming this cafe's number 1 customer."

"Because this cafe is number 1, Mr. Kwon." 

"Wow, what a sweet-talker," Younghyun guffawed while the owner laughed. 

"Oh, Younghyun, you should go home early today. It's your birthday, after all."

_It's his birthday?_

"Boss, I still have 2 more hours in my shift though."

"It's fine! Go celebrate!" Mr. Kwon said with a clap on Younghyun's back.

"You're the best, boss. Thank you," Younghyun bowed again as he took off his apron and retreated to the back room.

Wonpil couldn't believe he almost let Younghyun's birthday just slip past him. There was a lot he didn't know about Younghyun yet, he was aware of that, but they were together for almost the entire day and he never said anything; and Wonpil was the kind of friend who took birthdays seriously. He wasn't sure if Younghyun had plans, but he had to do something. He had to make it up to him.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday today?" Wonpil said the moment Younghyun stepped out of the cafe.

"I forgot," Younghyun replied in a dismissive manner; but Wonpil won't let him just end the conversation like that.

"Well, now that you remember, what are you going to do?"

"Dunno. Eat a whole pizza by myself and then sleep, probably."

Wonpil let out an offended gasp.

"What?" Younghyun looked at Wonpil, who still had his mouth agape and was wearing a frown. "My parents are vacationing overseas right now so that's good enough for me."

There it was again—the reminder that he didn't know a lot about Younghyun. He had never mentioned before that he was currently living alone; Wonpil didn't know if Younghyun deliberately keeps secrets or if he thinks they're not close enough to talk about these things. It was the same with how Wonpil still wasn't sure what Younghyun and Minjung's relationship was. It wasn't that he thought he was entitled to know everything about his new friend but he wanted to know him more, if he'd let him.

"I'm not gonna let you do that. Not today," Wonpil said, starting to type a message on his phone. He needed some help if he wanted to have an impromptu celebration for Younghyun's birthday.

"What are you doing?"

He merely answered with a grin, leaving Younghyun confused. Wonpil basked in the reversal of their dynamic since it was Younghyun who lead him with mischievous smiles and unknown thoughts since the day they became closer. 

"Come on!"

Wonpil grabbed Younghyun's hand and started running.

"Hey, stop," Younghyun muttered as Wonpil dragged him hand-in-hand inside his house. They were greeted by the sight of his mother in the kitchen and the dining table already set for three. Wonpil made Younghyun sit down then stood behind his chair, prepared to catch him if he tried to flee.

"Happy birthday, Younghyun!" Wonpil's mother sang gleefully. "Have a seat; dinner will be ready soon."

Younghyun shook his head. "I don't want to be a bother, Mrs. Kim. I'll be leaving now." 

"You're not being a bother, so just eat dinner with us, okay?"

Wonpil looked at Younghyun slump in defeat. He was about to feel bad about pushing this on his friend but then he saw Younghyun perk up at the smell of meat being cooked, even though he tried to hide it.

His mother called out, "Pillie, can you stir the seaweed soup for a bit? I just need to answer my phone. And Younghyun, can you make sure he doesn't burn the kitchen down? I'll be right back!"

Younghyun nodded while Wonpil stood up and took hold of the ladle. He tasted the soup. Not to put down his mom's cooking, but he was thinking that it lacked some flavor.

"Do you know how to cook?" Younghyun asked, moving behind Wonpil to peer at the pot. He could feel Younghyun's chest almost touching his back. His skin felt like it was on fire and his cheeks grew warmer. Maybe it was because of the heat from the stove.

"No, but I know how to taste and I think this should have more seasoning," Wonpil replied. He shook the shaker three times, pausing before he decided to do it again for the fourth time.

"Okay! That should be enough."

Wonpil took a sip again. "I still think it doesn't taste right though."

"Hey—" Before he could put more of the seasoning, a hand covered his own. Wonpil dropped what he was holding, his hand feeling as if it touched the boiling pot.

The sound of the shaker hitting the floor made the two leap apart from each other. Younghyun backed away with an apology as Wonpil tried to focus on his task; but his heart was beating so fast that he could hear the blood in his ears. He needed to get it together. He wasn't used to being touched because he was usually the one initiating it and his friends were also never the physically affectionate type. It just caught him by surprise, that's all it was.

Wonpil opened the gate for Younghyun who was about to go back home. He almost wanted to stop him, not wanting Younghyun to go back to an empty house; but it would make him uncomfortable, since he was already troubled about staying over for dinner. Wonpil didn't regret it though. Never had he seen Younghyun's smile so pleased and bright than when he was eating meat. He also ended up taking lots of photos of Younghyun during dinner, though he wasn't really thinking of their project; he just liked seeing him happy, especially on his birthday.

"Hey," he called out to Younghyun, reaching to pinch his sleeve.

"Sorry if I forced you to celebrate with us today. And sorry I couldn't prepare a gift. So, um... here—" Wonpil drew him into a loose hug, patting his back when he felt Younghyun still so that it wouldn't feel too awkward. "Thank you for being born. Thank you for being my friend and for always helping me out."

He moved to pulled away after a few seconds, but Younghyun tightened his hold on Wonpil, leaving him to softly gasp. He could feel Younghyun's breath on his neck, his hands pressing on his back, his arms wrapped around his waist, and their heartbeats pounding through their chests.

Goosebumps formed on his skin as Younghyun spoke so close to his ear, "I tried not to show it, but I felt a bit sad since my parents weren't here to celebrate my birthday with me. But then you did all of this for me. And you help me out a lot, too... more than you even know. Thanks, Wonpil."

Younghyun broke the hug and walked away.

Wonpil went back to his room in a daze, lightheaded, warm, and confused about whether platonic hugs are supposed to make him feel this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes one part was shamelessly inspired by that cooking vlive in which i first realized young k is so damn soft for wonpil heh
> 
> thanks for reading! i am on twitter [@sunprincewonpil](https://twitter.com/sunprincewonpil) if ya need me


	5. breathe in and out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're more than halfway done, folks! thank you for all the love for this fic ; v ;
> 
> also, i'm taking some liberties about the timeline of a semester; here the midterms end before christmas and they resume classes mid-january.
> 
> didn't realize this chapter was so long, so enjoy! happy new year!

Wonpil didn't want to get out of bed. Leaving the comfort of his room, going to school, and seeing Younghyun might make him feel things again like he did during his birthday. Not that he had _that_ kind of feelings for Younghyun. Because he felt that way only for Sungjin.

Right?

Yesterday, he threw himself into any task he could find around the house just to keep himself away from his thoughts. He cleaned his room, he did the grocery shopping for his mother, and he helped his sister analyze an entire film trilogy for her class. While he kept himself busy, he surely wasn't wondering about what Younghyun's room looked like, if he was the type to find grocery shopping relaxing, and which movie genre he liked most. Definitely not.

He wanted to skip school to keep his head empty and his dumb heart calm. But it was the last three days before the winter break, which meant midterms are still ongoing, which meant Wonpil had to haul his muddled self out of bed and go to school before he missed something important that could ruin his grades.

Wonpil almost sent a message to Younghyun, telling him they won't walk to school together today because he was going to be late. He decided against it. He'll have to face Younghyun and prove to himself that what he felt during that night was merely an anomaly.

He was right. When Wonpil saw Younghyun, he didn't feel the dizzying flush, the rapid beating of his heart, and the shortlessness of breath. Whatever he felt during that hug, it didn't come back like he feared.

There was, however, a constant fluttering sensation in his stomach when he was around Younghyun.

But that could be nothing. Maybe he was just nervous in general for the day.

He was probably overthinking everything; after all, Younghyun seemed completely unaffected by what happened that night. Why would he be? Wonpil only blew things out of proportion for a bit, momentarily disoriented by something he wasn't used to.

He should stop thinking about something that didn't have any further meaning and pay attention to things that matter—like their teacher who was speaking in front of the class.

"How are your photography projects going? By now you should have at least four photos you want to post-process and feature in the mini-exhibit," their art teacher reminded. "Today, you'll be paired up by random. During the session, you and your one-time pair will help each other concretize your concepts and help you choose which photos will make the final cut."

A variety of reactions rouse in the room, with some excited by the thought of a new partner and some saddened to be away from their original partner even just for one activity.

Meanwhile, Wonpil was summoning every shred of luck that he had in his life to please please _please_ not pair him up with Sungjin. 

"Kim Wonpil and Yoon Dowoon."

He exhaled as he heard their teacher call out Dowoon's name with his own. He could breathe again. Maybe he can get lucky sometimes.

"Kang Younghyun and Jin Minjung."

Nevermind. Wonpil didn't feel as lucky as he thought he was a minute ago.

Dowoon plopped down beside him in the computer room, immediately resting his head against his arm like he was ready to go to sleep. Wonpil looked at him to check if he really did doze off, but Dowoon had his eyes open. 

"Who's your partner?" he asked, trying to start with the activity.

"Jung Rahee."

Dowoon really wasn't much of a talker so Wonpil just nodded, not expecting him to give more than short responses. It made sense that Dowoon became partners with one of the few girls in the classroom who didn't chase him around. "Okay. I'm paired up with Younghyun."

In the row opposite them, he couldn't help but sneak a glance at Younghyun and Minjung talking. They seemed to be having a laugh, though Wonpil felt his stomach churn at that thought. He realized Minjung looked at Younghyun the same way Sungjin looked at her, and that made Wonpil feel even worse.

"Wonpil?" Dowoon was holding out a cable, waiting for Wonpil to connect his phone to the computer and upload his photos.

"Ah—yep, sorry."

They looked at Dowoon's few photos of Rahee, which was all about her hobby that the class didn't know about: woodworking. It was easy to pick which four would be included in the exhibit; after all, he had only nine photos of her.

On the other hand, Wonpil had around 40 photos of Younghyun.

He started explaining his project concept, "Um... I wanted to capture the soft side of him, I guess. Since everyone seems to think he's a rude delinquent. He's really not, though. He's one of the nicest and most hardworking people I've ever met, even though he's the type of friend to laugh at you when you trip before helping you up. But he's very considerate and he always looks out for you."

Dowoon only raised his eyebrows and nodded at him, but something about his reaction made Wonpil agitated.

"Not that I like him, because I don't! I just think he doesn't deserve his bad reputation in school," he blurted out.

"I didn't say anything."

Wonpil mentally slapped his mouth. What was up with him? "Anyway, uh, which photos do you think I should choose?"

In the computer screen, there were so many pictures of Younghyun that Wonpil felt exposed, as if he was being forced to reveal a secret—there was Younghyun laughing at him when he spat out the first drink he experimented on, Younghyun petting a stray cat with a content smile, Younghyun holding out a stick of fish cake for Wonpil, Younghyun pouting when he accidentally tore his pants while climbing the tree, and Younghyun from more memories that Wonpil all remembered fondly.

The last photo had Wonpil in it, too. He was smiling at the phone being held by his mother, but Younghyun wasn't looking at the camera. He was looking at Wonpil.

Wonpil hadn't checked his camera roll after the birthday celebration and now he wished he hadn't seen it at all, because those feelings were coming back as he stared at how Younghyun smiled at him in the photo. 

"I think you'll have a hard time choosing," Dowoon said.

Wonpil laughed bitterly. Well, he was certainly having a hard time.

With their art class being their last subject, their classmates ran back to their room as soon as the bell rang, thrilled to go home or play around with each other. Wonpil took his time walking back, taking heavy steps as he was plagued by the feelings that have returned and what it meant. It was getting harder to deny what was going on with him, but he didn't want to completely admit it yet; there was always the possibility that he was wrong and that was what he wanted to bet on.

As he reached the doorway of their classroom, he could see Younghyun sitting on his desk and Minjung standing over him; she jokingly poked at him with the mop she was holding, telling him to help with cleaning for once. Wonpil watched as a laughing Younghyun wrap his hand around Minjung's wrist to stop her teasing.

The tightening in his chest reminded Wonpil of that night in the bus with Sungjin—that horribly familiar feeling of defeat.

Without much thought, Wonpil turned around and started running.

His feet took him to the rooftop, heaving and gasping for air as he burst through the door. 

"Wonpil? Hey, what's wrong?" His head shot up, caught off guard by Sungjin's voice. He was crouching in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder out of concern. Behind him was Jaehyung holding a basketball and Dowoon sitting on the ledge.

"I think there's something wrong with me."

Sungjin scanned his body, looking for a possible injury—his concern made Wonpil feel somewhat guilty. "Are you in pain? Do you need to go to the clinic?"

"No, not that," Wonpil said, biting his lip in distress. "I think I like Younghyun."

Sungjin froze, processing what he had just heard, before sighing in relief since Wonpil wasn't physically hurt; but then he frowned again. "Pil, are you sure you want to talk about that here? Jaehyung and Dowoon are here too."

"I don't want to go anywhere else right now because I might run into him." Wonpil faced their two classmates, "You guys can keep a secret, right?"

"Yeah, dude, don't worry. My lips are sealed," Jaehyung replied with a smile.

Dowoon shrugged. "I don't talk to other people anyway."

"If you two tell anyone, you're dead," Sungjin threatened, earning swift nods from Jaehyung and Dowoon.

Wonpil moved to lean his back on the ledge Dowoon was perched on. He trying not to die of mortification as it hit him that he just blurted out his feelings in front of the person who rejected him and two classmates he didn't know that well. Sungjin, Jaehyung, and even Dowoon had their eyes on him, waiting for him to say more.

"I think I like him. Recently whenever I'm with him I just _feel_ things. I can't even explain what I feel; it's just so overwhelming," he said, placing his hands on his head to hide his face and muffle his squealing. "Why does he have to be so good to me, why did he always have to smile at me like that, and why did he hug me that night?!"

Wonpil forced himself to calm down and continued, "But I think he might like someone else. No, I'm pretty sure he likes someone else."

Sungjin sent an empathetic smile. If anyone could relate to his situation, it would be his own best friend. "If you like him, I think you should let him know. You're not a hundred percent sure that he likes another person, and there's really only one way to find out," he said.

Wonpil mulled it over, knowing that what Sungjin said made sense. If he was an outsider in the situation, Wonpil would give himself the same advice, since it was what he did when he realized he had fallen for Sungjin. It was easier to make the decision of confessing to his best friend because he was sure he was going to get rejected and he just wanted to move on after coming clean. With Younghyun, he found himself hesitating; he was expecting rejection yet he was terrified by its very possibility and the uncertainty that was attached to it.

"Uhh, sorry to interrupt but I just gotta say—I actually thought you guys had something going on already when I went to the cafe," Jaehyung piped up. Dowoon followed with an acknowledging hum.

"Y-you too, Dowoon? No way," Wonpil stammered out.

"I thought the same because of your pictures, but then you started denying you liked him," Dowoon said in an uncharacteristically long sentence, contributing further to Wonpil's embarrassment. 

Sungjin chuckled at Wonpil's reddening cheeks and gave his best friend light pats on his back. "Whatever you decide to do, I'll be supporting you, Pil."

"Thanks—"

Startled at the sound of the door opening, all four turned to look at the one who came in. Wonpil stilled.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," Younghyun huffed out, wiping sweat from his forehead. "You just ran out of the room so suddenly. I thought there was a problem."

He must have been running all over the school to look for Wonpil even though he wasn't sure if something was wrong. Wonpil wanted to scream in frustration because of Younghyun. _Why did you do that? Why do you have to keep making me like you more?_

"He's fine," Sungjin said, noticing how Wonpil had gone silent.

"Oh. Nice. You two are okay again?"

Wonpil nodded, trying to ignore how Younghyun was frowning at the sight of Sungjin's hand on his back; he wasn't going to give himself false hope and he wasn't going to put meaning in whatever Younghyun does.

"Alright, I'll be leaving, then," he said, smiling. "Good for you, Wonpil. You can walk back home with Sungjin like before."

Younghyun left as fast as he entered, the sound of the rooftop door slamming shut ringing in Wonpil's ears. 

The two best friends walked side by side on their way home, with Wonpil staying quiet and Sungjin not trying to fill the silence. But the more Wonpil kept his mouth closed, the more Younghyun invaded his mind. He wanted to walk home with Younghyun earlier, but with what he said before he left, Wonpil was starting to think that he was only befriended out of pity. Now that he was back to normal with Sungjin, would Younghyun stop being his friend? He was at a loss about what he was going to do next if that happened. Wonpil shook his head, banishing Younghyun away from his thoughts.

Wonpil spoke to busy himself, settling on an unrelated subject. "I didn't know you, Jaehyung, and Dowoon hung out." 

"I started hanging out with them after basketball matches at school, since you were avoiding me and you were busy falling in love with Younghyun," Sungjin teased.

Wonpil flushed as his attempt for distraction failed; but it was funny, how Sungjin casually brings up the topic of Wonpil's love life as if he wasn't a part of it, considering he was the one who rejected him a few weeks ago.

"Sungjin," he called out. "Do you feel weird that I liked you?"

His best friend balked at the question, scratching his head while trying to find what to say. "Honestly? A bit, at first. I was surprised you felt that way since we've been friends for so long. Still, I should have reacted better when you told me."

"No, I understand. It must have been so shocking."

"But I don't really care about that anymore. You're still you. You're still my best friend," Sungjin said to reassure him. "Besides, seems like you got over me already."

What was supposed to be a light tease reminded Wonpil of something that was troubling him. "That's what I'm also worried about—is it even possible to move on that fast? I realized I was in love with you less than a month ago. What if I'm just liking Younghyun because I want to move on from you?"

"Well, it's not impossible to move on within a few weeks. The heart is pretty unpredictable, Pil, and from what you said earlier, I think you genuinely like him. I would try not to overthink this."

"For a guy who's been single his whole life, you sure have a lot of love advice."

"Ha! You're one to talk," Sungjin exclaimed, launching himself at Wonpil to put him into a headlock.

Wonpil laughed as he tried to get away from Sungjin, basking in the comfort of being with his best friend again. He just wished it wouldn't have to mean he was about to lose Younghyun in exchange for it.


	6. so stay with me, don't go anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've wanted to use lyrics from "finale" as a chapter title and now i finally got to do it! also, how beautiful is the bridge in "finale" where young k and wonpil sound like they're singing to each other? i get goosebumps every time i hear it aaa
> 
> anyway, enjoy! this is the second to last chapter and then epilogue (younghyun pov!) as the last one. it's almost over :( thank you as always for the support and kind words

Younghyun's command for Wonpil to go home with Sungjin yesterday didn't stop him from sitting on their couch beside the window, hoping for Younghyun to come by and walk with him to school. He usually arrived a few minutes before 7 AM, always making sure to be early so they take their time walking and maybe even grab a bite at a convenience store if their breakfast wasn't enough.

Wonpil took out his phone and the clock widget displaying _7:23 AM_ glared at him. He'd been waiting for 30 minutes already and sure, Wonpil didn't confirm with Younghyun if they were going to school together, but he wanted to cling to the idea that they were still friends and that they still had their usual morning routine.

If he sat still any longer, he might end up late at school, so he finally sent a text message even if he feared what Younghyun had to say.

> **kimwonpil** : where are you?
> 
> **project partner kang younghyun** : at school. why?

"Why? _Why?_ " Wonpil shrieked out of frustration. The nonchalant tone of Younghyun's reply was grinding at Wonpil's nerves; it was as if they didn't walk together in the morning every weekday for the past three weeks and Wonpil just asked him a weird question.

> **kimwonpil** : i thought
> 
> **kimwonpil:** we were going together
> 
> **project partner kang younghyun** : ??
> 
> **project partner kang younghyun** : aren't you going with sungjin?

Wonpil's heart sank as he stared at the message. No more going back home together, no more walking to school together. His fingers hovered above the screen, thinking of a reply but failing to convey what he really wanted to say because there was too much. He would rather talk to him in person instead, so he didn't have to end up overthinking what he would say to the point that he can't say anything at all.

As he went outside, the first thing he saw was his best friend across the street.

"Mornin', Pil," Sungjin greeted, closing their gate behind him and furrowing his brows when he saw Wonpil's grim expression. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think so," he replied.

"Ah... Is it Younghyun? He's not picking you up?"

Wonpil nodded before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Whatever. Let's go to school before we end up late."

Wonpil's gaze landed on Younghyun the moment he walked into the classroom, a smile automatically starting to form on his face despite the sadness caused by the text messages. For a fleeting moment, they held eye contact—then Younghyun turned his head away to look outside the window instead, without any kind of acknowledgement of Wonpil's existence.

Wonpil felt something sting his eyes. He was losing Younghyun as a friend even without doing anything. Maybe Younghyun didn't even think of their relationship as friendship to begin with. But he had to talk to him, still, and clear everything up even if he wouldn't like the truth.

As he took a seat on his desk in front of Younghyun, it was only then Wonpil wiped away his tears away while pretending to yawn.

The bell had barely begun to ring when Wonpil heard Younghyun's seat screech, followed by his footsteps. He stood up to follow him, determined to talk and ask for an explanation.

"Hey, Wonpil," Sungjin called out, oblivious to his haste. "Wanna get lunch with me and Jaehyung? We're taking photos for the project too."

He couldn't even spare his best friend a glance as he darted out of the room and replied, "Next time, sorry. I have to go!"

Younghyun was already out of sight in the corridors but Wonpil knew where to find him.

"Hi, auntie! Have you seen Younghyun?" Wonpil asked as he entered the American-style restaurant they frequented, knowing it was always Younghyun's first choice when getting lunch. He couldn't see him at any table, though. He wasn't able to catch him around the tree in school either, resulting in a graze on his palm and Wonpil discovering how hard it is to climb a tree without someone to help you up.

The owner snapped her fingers and pointed behind Wonpil. "You just missed him! He bought a burger to-go and then left around five minutes ago."

Wonpil nodded, trying to smile in gratitude but not quite achieving it, already preoccupied with thinking where Younghyun could have gone next. _He can't bring food from outside to school so he must be eating it somewhere nearby._

"I was surprised when he walked in without you, and he looked super sad too. Did you guys have a lover's quarrel?" she asked, watching Wonpil bring up a hand to rub his temple and exhale heavily. "Aww, I hope you guys work it out. You and Younghyun the cutest couple I've served in this place."

This made her the third person to think they were dating; if he had heard it yesterday, he would blush and stutter about how they're not together. Now, it makes Wonpil laugh, because not only is he in love with someone who doesn't like him back—he's in love with someone who may not consider him a friend at all. "We're not... I have to go, though. See you, auntie, thank you!"

He closed the restaurant door behind him, deciding to send a text just in case Younghyun would respond.

> **kim wonpil:** where are you?
> 
> **kim wonpil:** can we talk? please?

Wonpil dropped by each place they've gone together around the school's vicinity; he went to the snack place Younghyun loved for their ramyeon and tteokbokki, the convenience store that never ran out of their favorite flavored milk, and the small homely eatery that were ran by a lovely old couple that always gave them an extra serving of rice without even asking for it. With each place he went to, the more he grew desperate; he felt like if he didn't find Younghyun soon, he wouldn't have the chance to talk to him. Not even in school. He was way too good at avoidance, slipping through Wonpil's fingers without giving him a chance to hold on.

A vibration in his pocket halted his downcast thoughts. He hurriedly took out his phone, his face falling when he saw the sender of the message. 

> **bear friend:** hey where did you go? lunch time's almost over.

He wanted to keep on scouring every corner around the places they frequented, no matter how seemingly futile it was, but Wonpil had no choice to accept his failure and go back to school.

"Younghyun's avoiding you?"

Wonpil sighed from his position on the library floor, his head colliding with the book he was holding with a _thunk_. Sungjin briefly looked at him before turning his attention to the books on the shelves, taking his time to look for something even though Wonpil knew it was just a cover for him to sneak some glances at Minjung who was studying on a table parallel to their spot. It felt strange to not feel the pang in his chest when he watches at Sungjin gaze at her; but the ache had become a familiar presence, only now it was caused by someone else.

"I think so. I looked for him outside where we grab lunch together but I couldn't find him. He didn't respond to my text either."

"Ohh, so that's where you guys disappear to during lunch time. I can't believe you're a rulebreaker now, Kim Wonpil," Sungjin teased, sliding down to the floor in front of him with a book in hand. "But yeah, you're definitely being avoided. I know the signs very well."

Wonpil pouts at Sungjin's jab, who only cackled without making much sound. "I haven't seen him in class after lunch either."

"Jaehyung told me he saw Younghyun go to the clinic before you got back."

"Is he okay?" he asked, his concern for Younghyun easily trumping whatever it is he was feeling, something along the lines of bitterness, rejection, and heartbreak. Definitely heartbreak.

"That, I don't know. Are you going?"

"Should I?"

Sungjin pointed at Wonpil's foot. He didn't even realize he had been tapping it against the floor. "You obviously want to. Go now, before he leaves and you miss him again."

Younghyun wasn't in the clinic anymore.

Wonpil groaned as he walked down the stairs on his way to the school's gate. The world was truly not on his side on this day. Should he just let Younghyun be and try talking to him after their midterm break? Or should he just accept the possible fact that he and Younghyun were no longer friends and he wouldn't be able to talk to him anymore? _But that's just ridiculous_ , Wonpil thought. Who ends friendships that way? Nothing even happened between them; Wonpil hadn't even confessed his feelings.

Unless... Unless Younghyun already caught on—and avoiding him was his response. Wonpil already wanted to cry at that potential scenario; if he was going to get rejected, he wanted to get rejected properly. Wonpil breathed in and out, trying to calm his racing mind, get the doubts out of his head, and trust the Younghyun he grew to know, the Younghyun he fell in love with. _You're overthinking this._

His phone buzzed in his hand. He wasted no time answering it the moment he saw the caller.

"Hello? Younghyun?"

"Ah, Wonpil, this is Kwon Hyunsik, Younghyun's manager in the cafe. Apologies for the the sudden call, but your number was the most recent one I saw in Younghyun's notifications."

The disappointment of not hearing Younghyun's voice was immediately replaced by alarm. _Where's Younghyun?_ "Mr. Kwon? What's going on?"

"Younghyun's here in the cafe. He wants to work but I can't allow him because he has a fever. Would you be able to pick him up and take him home?"

The cafe bells swung violently as Wonpil entered, causing an ear-piercing noise and complaints from some students; he bowed to the customers and muttered out a string of apologies as he dashed to the counter.

"Mr. Kwon, where's Younghyun?"

"He's in the break room. Go and take him home, will you? He doesn't want to but I'm sure you can convince him."

Wonpil wasn't emotionally prepared for the sight of Younghyun curled up in the narrow couch that can't even fit the length of his legs, his jacket draped over his body serving as a blanket, his eyes droopy and struggling to focus on who entered the room. A thought entered his head, too fast and sudden for Wonpil to filter: _I want to hug him_.

"Wonpil? What are you doing here?" he croaked out, the signs of colds evident in his voice.

He doesn't answer, just loops Younghyun's arms around his shoulders and helps him stand up, holding his waist for support. To his surprise, Younghyun wasn't putting up a fight as Wonpil manhandled him out of the cafe, but it was probably because of his fever-weakened state. Their close proximity let Wonpil feel how Younghyun was burning up and sweating through his clothes. _Has he been sick during the entire day? Did he go out and buy lunch while he had a fever this high?_

He hailed a passing taxi and pushed Younghyun inside before he sat down beside him. "Mr. Kwon called me to pick you up. You need to go home. What's your address?"

"I should go back to work," Younghyun said, reaching for the door handle, but Wonpil moved faster and grabbed his hand before he could.

"You have to go home and rest. Or do you want to infect Mr. Kwon and everyone in the cafe? What are you going to do when they blame the sick barista once they catch your colds?"

Younghyun held eye contact to intimidate him but Wonpil stared him down even if he was growing redder by the millisecond, looking like he was the one with the fever. Wonpil smiles as Younghyun closes his eyes, sighs in defeat and tells the driver his address.

"See, that wasn't so hard. How'd you end up sick anyway?"

"Took a long walk at midnight."

Wonpil whipped his head to look at him. "You what?"

But Younghyun didn't reply anymore.

A few seconds later, Wonpil felt something heavy drop on his left shoulder and a tickling sensation on his cheek—Younghyun's head fell leaning against him and Wonpil could hear him snoring softly. He shouldn't be happy about it, given the circumstances, yet he can't help but bask in the moment.

He let his head rest on Younghyun's. It could be the last time he can get this close to him, after all.

Wonpil sat cross-legged beside Younghyun's bed, taking in the appearance of his room that he had been curious about. Various posters hung on the wall, some Wonpil could recognize as movies and some he assumed were band concerts. A hair-dyeing kit was on top of Younghyun's study desk. Wonpil wondered if he was going to change his hair color soon, and he found himself already mourning for Younghyun's purple hair that he liked so much. There was a guitar standing in a corner, shiny and without a trace of dust despite not being inside a case. He had heard his favorite songs with impressive riffs during the days they would walk together sharing a pair of earphones, but he didn't know Younghyun played the guitar; Wonpil wanted hear him play it. He hoped he still had a chance to do so.

At the corner of his eye, he saw the comforter ruffle, followed by Younghyun sitting up as he groaned. Wonpil changed his position to sit on the bed's edge, ignoring how it stung when Younghyun frowned the moment he saw him.

"Why are you still here?" Younghyun avoided his hand, but Wonpil held his shoulders and placed his palm against his forehead. It seemed like his fever had already broken, as Younghyun's skin was cool to his touch. "You can go home, I'm fine."

Wonpil drew back, steeling himself for the conversation he was about to start. There was no way of knowing how it would end and what would remain of their friendship afterwards; it terrified him, but Wonpil wanted to know what Younghyun had to say. "Why can't I be here? Are we not friends anymore?" He swallowed, trying to speak without letting tears flow. "Were you just hanging out with me because you pitied me?"

Younghyun's frown wrinkled even deeper. "What? Is that how you think of me?"

"You haven't gone within a meter around me since then, so what am I supposed to think? You don't even look at me."

"I'm sorry for avoiding you, I know I should have talked to you. I just couldn't," Younghyun said, without any further explanation why he wouldn't talk to Wonpil. "But it's not like that. You're with Sungjin again. You don't need me anymore."

Was that what Younghyun thought of their relationship? That he was just a temporary replacement for a friend until he made up with Sungjin again? That Wonpil would push him aside without any second thought? " _I don't need you anymore?_ I'm not... I wasn't using you, Younghyun."

"I know you weren't."

"So then why—" Wonpil choked on his words, the tears he was trying so hard to suppress building up on his eyes. "Why are you saying that?"

Younghyun clenched the blanket tightly in his fists. "Don't cry. Please."

"I can't help it," Wonpil mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "You're not making any sense to me right now, Younghyun."

"I just... I don't want to get in the way of you two," Younghyun said, gruff and grating, as if the confession was being pulled out of his throat.

"What?"

"You're in love with Sungjin and someday he might realize he likes you too. I'm not going to complicate that."

To Wonpil, it was like Younghyun was speaking in code; he couldn't understand what he was trying to say. What does Sungjin even have to do with all of this? Why did he keep mentioning his best friend? He stood up from where he was perched on Younghyun's bed, choosing to shake his frustration off with pacing the room.

"You think I like Sungjin?"

"You _do_ like Sungjin, Wonpil, what are you even saying? It's why you started avoiding him, it's why we started spending time together." Younghyun finally met Wonpil's eyes, even though he was glaring at him. But rather than looking angry, Younghyun looked... crestfallen. 

"But I don't anymore!" Wonpil cried out. The admission slipped from his lips before he could think through it, desperate to make Younghyun believe his words, "It's you who I like."

"What?"

"I'm in love with you," he repeated.

Younghyun continued to look up at him, searching his eyes for an indication of a lie. "You're serious?"

"I am. I really like you."

"I... don't understand."

"Do you find it that strange? How many times are you going to make me say it?" Wonpil sniffled, preparing for the rejection that follows. "I like you. I'm in love with you, not Sungjin."

"No, I—" Younghyun rose from his bed, crossing over to where Wonpil was standing. "Do you know how long I've wanted to hear that?"

Wonpil stayed frozen in his spot, stunned by his closeness and confused by the turn of the conversation. "Huh?"

Younghyun placed his hands on Wonpil's neck and leans down so their foreheads touch. Wonpil shivered, unable to process what was happening. 

"I like you too," he whispered, letting out a smile that Wonpil have missed seeing. "I've liked you since we started high school."

Wonpil drew back to look at Younghyun with wide eyes but held his shoulders as to not give the impression that he was pushing him away. He liked him? His crush on Younghyun wasn't one-sided? For the past three years, Younghyun had liked him from afar? How? Why? And what about Minjung? Wonpil thought they liked each other, but was that not the case?

Several thoughts were running through his mind in full speed, but all he could say to Younghyun was, "Hold on, sit back down on your bed. You still need to rest."

Younghyun followed his word, settling back in under the comforter while pulling Wonpil down to sit opposite him. The tense air of the room mere seconds ago had had cleared, the two finally coming to understand each other. Wonpil now knew why Younghyun had kept mentioning Sungjin, and why he kept his distance when they made up the other day. _He was jealous_.

"I still can't believe it," Younghyun breathed. "Can you... can you say it again?"

Wonpil smiled at him. "I like you. So much."

"How did it happen? I thought you weren't over Sungjin. I thought that's why you were avoiding him."

"That's what I thought too. But then we became friends and I just kept feeling overwhelmed whenever you did anything. And I kept thinking about you, your smile, your kindness, the things that you like, and the things I don't know about you yet." Wonpil bared his heart out, wringing the blankets in his fists as he flushed. Now he was the one who couldn't make eye contact with Younghyun, who hasn't stopped smiling since his confession. "I didn't know I had feelings for you until I realized it hurts when I saw you with Minjung. I thought she liked you and that you liked her back."

"Me and Minjung? There's nothing going on between us. Actually... I already rejected her."

"You did?"

"She didn't actually confess, but I kind of saw the signs. Not to be full of myself, but you can feel those things, you know? And I didn't want to lead her on even unintentionally, so I told her I've liked someone for the past three years. She's cool with it. We just talk sometimes, like normal classmates." Younghyun explained sheepishly.

"That's a relief. Good thing you're not as oblivious as I am," Wonpil joked. "Three years... how did that start?"

Younghyun rubbed his neck, redness spreading on his face. Wonpil loved seeing him embarrassed—he loved seeing sides of Younghyun that he hadn't witnessed before. "During the summer before we entered high school, I bought a guitar in that store you went often with Sungjin. I don't know if you remember this, but I saw you there with him, playing the piano and singing."

Wonpil tried to remember, but he couldn't recall the same memory. _How could I have barely noticed Younghyun before?,_ he thought, feeling guilty and apologetic.

"I only heard your voice first, and I thought you sounded so unreal—like I was in a dream. Then I saw who was singing, and it turned out to be my classmate in middle school. When we became classmates again in high school, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I've liked you ever since."

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to see you," Wonpil apologized, scooting closer and cupping Younghyun's face with his uninjured hand.

Younghyun shook his head and nuzzled into his touch. "It's okay. I never even thought I'd have a chance to get close to you, because I knew you only had eyes for one person. This is more than I could ever ask for."

"I still feel bad, though. I'm going to make it up to you."

"Really? How?" Younghyun teased, the usual mischievous glint in his eyes returning once again.

"Um... I'll pay on our first date, and you can order as much as you want."

Wonpil found it slightly awkward to talk about their relationship, but he can do that now, right? They like each other. They're going to go on dates and hold hands and call each other _boyfriend_ , if Younghyun wanted that label too. The thought makes him want to explode of excitement.

"That sounds good, but I'm thinking of something better."

"What's that?"

"A kiss."

Wonpil squeaked, the escalation of the situation combined with Younghyun's smirk being too much for him to handle. "But—but you're sick! You have colds!"

"Aww, you don't want my colds?" Younghyun leaned closer to Wonpil, who covered his mouth with his hands in his surprise. "Wait, what happened to your hand?"

"Ah... It's really hard to climb a tree without you."

Younghyun gently set Wonpil's hand on top of his palm, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. "I'm really sorry for avoiding you. When I saw you with Sungjin on that rooftop, it just hit me how much I didn't have a chance with you. And I'm not strong enough to be so close to you while you continued to like him."

"I get it. He's still my best friend though, but I don't have that kind of feelings for him anymore."

"Because you're in love with me. Ah, I still can't wrap my head around it," Younghyun said.

Without any sort of heads up, Wonpil kissed Younghyun's lips, briefly but firmly. He watched in amusement as Younghyun's brain catched up to what just happened, giggling when he started opening and closing his mouth without being able saying anything.

"Still can't believe it?" he taunted.

Something changed in Younghyun's eyes, a swift warning of what Wonpil just got himself into. Wonpil yelped as Younghyun tackled him down to lay on the bed, straddling his waist and caging him, yet was considerate of his injured hand. Wonpil smiled up at him.

Maybe he'll have colds when he wakes up tomorrow and maybe he'll have to skip class. But whatever. Worth it.


	7. epilogue: deep in love

Younghyun has never been in a relationship, has never even liked someone, before Wonpil burst his well-crafted bubble of detachment and self-preservation. All he knew about romantic love was based from the movies he had liked; what he learned from those was that being in a relationship was something you get into after months and years of getting to know each other—once you've spent all that time together and truly know the person you like, that's when you get into a relationship. Perhaps this was the main reason why he had always though Sungjin and Wonpil would find their way to each other one day and resigned himself in liking Wonpil from a distance, scared to get too close because he would eventually, inevitably get hurt. But all it took was one moment of lending Wonpil his handkerchief, unable to stay passive once he saw his tears, and then he found himself willingly walking the road he had deemed would only end in pain.

From the romance movies he watched, he would always raise an eyebrow when the leads would get together mere days after they first meet and shrug when they would break up by the end of the movie; how could that kind of an impulsive relationship last when somewhere down the line, you might find out you didn't know anything about that person at all?

What those movies failed to make him see that the real significance lies in the mere act of getting to know the person he liked, not the amount of time spent doing it before getting into a relationship. With each new piece of information he learns about Wonpil, he falls deeper, growing more grateful that he has the chance to be by Wonpil's side as his boyfriend. In the back of his mind, the thought lingers: _I am one lucky bastard._

The first thing Younghyun learned about Wonpil shortly after they got together was that he liked physical affection.

Younghyun learned this a few minutes after they confessed to each other in his bedroom; Wonpil sat by his bed's headboard and fiddled with his fingers and his hair, refusing to go back home until he fell asleep again from the medicine he took. When they walked to school together the next day, there was barely any distance between them, with their hands brushing against each other and Wonpil linking their pinkies if there was no one else around. Affection in the form of touching, hugging, and kissing quickly became a norm for them, the initial awkwardness of just barely getting together immediately wearing off as if it never existed.

In school, they kept their public displays of affection at a minimum, finding some amusement in keeping people guessing whether they were a couple or they just happened to be a really touchy pair of friends. In the rare times they were questioned by a nosy classmate about the nature of their relationship, all Younghyun had to do was give them his standard glare before they swallow their words back in and retreat. 

There were times when one of them can't hold back their impulses, resulting in rushed kisses or tight hugs in obscure corners in the school; but most of the time, they only let themselves be more openly affectionate in public when they would hang out with Sungjin, Jaehyung, and Dowoon at the school's rooftop after they play basketball, with Younghyun still having time to spare before his part-time job. He would rather take Wonpil out on a date somewhere before he has to work, but Sungjin kept grumbling about how he hogs his best friend too much, so they compromise by hanging out together after school with the rest of their class's unofficial basketball club. They would often just talk about school and eat whatever snacks Sungjin and Dowoon have in their bag for the day. Younghyun would never admit it out loud, but he had grown to like the company of their three other classmates, finding it especially engrossing to watch Dowoon be more and more talkative in their circle. It was a new experience for him to have so many friends, because he used to think he didn't need any.

During the afternoon before one of their long quizzes in math class, the five friends gathered to help each other review, although it was more like they gathered to suffer together instead. Wonpil was the one who suggested that they have a group study so Younghyun would never refuse, even if statistics made his brain pound.

"I'm going to fail this test," Dowoon groaned.

Sungjin laughed out of nowhere, sounding a bit deranged from all the studying. "Maybe if we all fail, we can get the teacher to lower the passing score." Jaehyung pointed a finger at him and nodded as he reached over for a high five.

"Ah, I don't care anymore. I'm tired. I'm done," Younghyun said, stuffing his notebook into his bag before anyone could tell him otherwise.

Younghyun felt his head gently being pushed down to lay on Wonpil's lap, his boyfriend's hand finding their way to his head to run through his hair and another resting on his stomach. He looked up at Wonpil, pouting, and the other automatically leaned down to press his lips to Younghyun's. He would never get used to the feeling of kissing Wonpil; each kiss felt like a confession wrapped inside—constant reminders that his boyfriend felt the same way as he did. 

"What? My boyfriend's tired from studying and I want to give him strength," Wonpil explained as he saw the three unamused scowls directed at him.

"You guys," Jaehyung called out. "Can you please be more respectful of the single people here, huh?"

Wonpil hummed, pretending to be in deep thought. "No, I don't think so."

"You're becoming like me," Younghyun cackled at his boyfriend's retort, giving him another peck on his lips, which Wonpil readily received.

"I can't take this anymore. Why are they the only ones with a successful love life? It's not fair!" 

Dowoon leaned in close to Jaehyung and asked, "Should we kiss too?"

Jaehyung, Sungjin, Wonpil, and Younghyun had their mouths agape, surprised by what Dowoon suggested and the unforeseen discovery that he can actually make a joke; the silence was followed by uncontrollable laughter and wheezing, starting from Dowoon himself. Younghyun watched with a smile as Wonpil wiped away his tears from laughing too much, thinking that maybe spending time with their three other classmates was much more worthwhile than he initially thought.

The second thing he learned about Wonpil was that he cannot, for the life of him, take compliments.

"Stoooop," Wonpil would whine whenever Younghyun voiced out his admiration for his boyfriend. He could already hear it in his head way before Wonpil had even said it, and no matter how much he got embarassed, Younghyun won't ever stop complimenting him. It caught Wonpil off guard, not expecting that Younghyun was the type of person who can say cheesy things without even getting red. But can you really blame him? Younghyun had three years worth of compliments he had always wanted to say to Wonpil, and he needed to release them from his mind; he needed to let Wonpil know every positive thing there is to recognize about him. 

"I don't understand how someone can be this amazing," Younghyun said, scooting closer to Wonpil as they shared the seat in front of the keyboard. 

Wonpil ducked his head and dodged Younghyun's concentrated gaze, trying to keep him away with an arm lightly pushed to his chest. "I just played the keyboard. That's nothing special."

"You sang too," Younghyun protested; he would never let Wonpil get away with undermining his talents. "You sang like an angel and you're like a professional when you play the keyboard."

"Stop it," Wonpil said, accompanied with a poorly suppressed laugh that meant the opposite of what he just spoke.

Younghyun stared at his boyfriend as he played with the keys distractedly, avoiding his attention. Being in the shop where he started to fall for Wonpil made him nostalgic; this was where it all began, and the fact that he returned to the music store with Wonpil not as his crush anymore but his boyfriend filled him with gratefulness to the world that let it happen. If Younghyun hadn't bought that guitar three years ago, if Wonpil happened to be somewhere else while he was in the store—how different would things be?

Younghyun wrapped his arms around Wonpil's waist and pressed his chest to his back, suddenly overcome with the urge to hold him tight and feel that he's actually right beside him in the here and now. 

"I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend who's so talented, so handsome, so cute, so kind—" 

Sungjin abruptly strummed his guitar, making the couple jump with the loud sound. "Did you guys forget that I'm here, too?"

"Yeah, actually."

Younghyun continued to whisper words of praise in Wonpil's ear, drinking in the sweet sound of his giggling and ignoring Sungjin's eyerolls from the next chair.

The third thing he learned was something surprising but comforting: Wonpil was out to his family.

Before Younghyun's parents came back from vacationing overseas, he and Wonpil would always hang out in his room when they have nothing to do on the weekend nights; sometimes they would do homework together, or they would jam if they didn't want to think about school, and sometimes they would just eat and then play games after. When his parents returned, Wonpil suggested they go to his house instead if Younghyun wasn't ready for his parents to meet him yet.

"Won't it be a bit weird if we're not alone in your house? We could just eat out," Younghyun said. Wonpil picked him up from the cafe after his shift ended and he protested against staying out as Younghyun was probably tired from working. His boyfriend was considerate like that.

"They won't mind," Wonpil replied, entwining their fingers together to lead him along the sidewalk. "And I want to introduce you to my family. As my boyfriend."

The thought of being recognized by Wonpil's family as his boyfriend made Younghyun feel elated. They didn't need anyone's permission to date, but being officially accepted by his boyfriend's family would be a big deal. "Would they be okay with that?"

"They will be. Don't worry." 

They were welcomed by Wonpil's older sister at the gate and ushered inside to say their greetings to Wonpil's mother. Younghyun noticed that Wonpil held his hand even tighter and that his family didn't comment on it or their lack of personal space. Later, Wonpil's father came home to the sight of Younghyun slumped on their couch with Wonpil resting his head on top of his chest as they watched videos of puppies on his phone. Younghyun immediately moved to stand up, only to be yanked back down to the couch by his boyfriend, who only briefly waved at his dad as if he wasn't just caught cuddling with a guy in their living room.

"Good evening, Mr. Kim. My name is Kang Younghyun," he greeted, sitting as upright as he could with half of Wonpil's body still on top of him.

"It's alright, son, just sit down. Wonpil doesn't want to let go of you," Mr. Kim laughed. "Nice to meet you." 

Voice muffled by his position on Younghyun's chest, Wonpil added, "He's my boyfriend."

"I figured as much," his dad replied cooly with a small smile, before walking to the kitchen to approach Wonpil's mom.

The interaction left him amazed, surprised by how much Wonpil's family didn't mind that he was dating someone, a guy at that, and was touchy with him under their own roof. During dinner, they were teased like any other couple would be, with Wonpil's sister interrogating them with how they fell in love and his mom insisting that Younghyun stop calling her "Mrs. Kim" and start calling her "mother".

After they ate with Wonpil's family, they moved to his room to get some alone time (but with the door open halfway through, as his father instructed) and squeezed side-by-side on the hamburger-shaped bean bag chair Wonpil claimed he bought because it reminded him of the first time they had lunch together.

"My parents and sister seem to really like you," Wonpil murmured, wrapping his arms around Younghyun's shoulders. Younghyun rested his head on the crook of his boyfriend's neck, happy but tired from the day's events. 

"Thank god," Younghyun breathed. Unable to fight his curiosity and knowing Wonpil wouldn't mind the question, he asked, "Since when have they known that you're gay?"

His boyfriend just let out a chuckle. "Um... ever since? I guess they always knew since all my childhood crushes were from boy bands. They never had a problem with it."

Younghyun could see how Wonpil was able to have grown up to be such a warm person that exudes so much love, given that he grew up surrounded by people who have never made him feel like he wasn't normal. Younghyun felt relieved that Wonpil has a family to accept and support him as he was, because he deserved nothing less.

"I'm glad that you can call me your boyfriend in front of your family. With my parents, though..."

Younghyun couldn't even begin to think what he would say to his parents and how they would react when they find out he already has a boyfriend; he wasn't even sure yet how he would label his sexuality, given that he had only been attracted to Wonpil and only him in his entire 18 years of existence, much less explain it to someone else. Younghyun loved his parents, but he found himself unable to predict an entirely positive outcome wherein there wouldn't be any consequences. He didn't like hiding the fact that he was in a relationship with Wonpil—he wanted to scream and shout about how proud he was to be his boyfriend—but he just wasn't ready to tell his parents anything.

With a kiss to his cheekbone, Wonpil smiled at him and all his worries fled somewhere he couldn't reach. "It's okay, Younghyun. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

In the four walls of his house and in Wonpil himself, Younghyun felt comfort and belongingness—he felt at home.

The fourth and most frustrating one he learned about Wonpil so far was that he was such a _tease_.

He had known this ever since Wonpil kissed him first the night they got together, but he only realized how much his boyfriend enjoyed tormenting him during the first time Wonpil slept over at his room, when his parents were out visiting relatives in the province. Younghyun only invited Wonpil because of their photography project as they needed to post-process their photos using a program only his computer had; he didn't expect that his boyfriend would stay the night and that Wonpil's parents would actually allow him to sleep at his house.

"Are you not done yet?" Younghyun asked from his bed, absentmindedly strumming his guitar as he watched Wonpil hastily minimize the window in the computer.

"Don't look!"

Wonpil and Younghyun had a deal that they wouldn't look at each other's photos while they post-processed it; they didn't want to show it anyway, a bit embarrassed by their pictures of each other. "I'm not! It's just you've been editing photos for some time now; it's already almost midnight and we have school tomorrow. You need any help?"

"Yeah, I forgot how to do something. Can you come here?"

Younghyun stood behind Wonpil's chair, digging his chin on the top of his boyfriend's head. "What do you nee—" he started to ask, cutting himself off once Wonpil turned his head and bit the underside of his jaw.

Wonpil looked up at him, trying to appear innocent but smiling with his tongue in between his teeth. Younghyun was now aware that he had just been played with.

"I guess you don't need my help," he said, making his way back to his bed and settled on top of it, making a point to face the wall and not his boyfriend. "I'm going to sleep, then."

"Noooo, come back," Wonpil whined. When he didn't get a response, he plopped down beside Younghyun and nudged him repeatedly. His next strategy was to lie on top of Younghyun's body and force him to face his way.

"Are you really sleeping already?"

"How can I, when you're right beside me?" 

"Woah. It's beating really fast," Wonpil whispered as he laid a hand over Younghyun's left chest. His other hand was making its way up beneath his loose tee and Younghyun shut his eyes tight, not wanting to fall into Wonpil's heated gaze. He hiked a leg over his boyfriend's upper thigh, knee almost brushing against his crotch, laughing when Younghyun let out a choke and his eyes flew open. "It got even faster!"

Wonpil knew he had power over Younghyun, and he never hesitated to use it to give him a hard time. Younghyun always tried to retaliate, but Wonpil ends up being more flustered by his compliments rather than his physical teasing. Younghyun would be lying if he said he didn't like this playful side of his boyfriend, but it was bad for his heart.

Younghyun rolled away from Wonpil, grabbing the comforter to cover his lower body and groaned out, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Why? You can't handle any more?" 

_No more sleepovers_ , Younghyun thought as goosebumps rose all over him from the way Wonpil's voice lowered and how his lips touched the shell of his ear.

The next day at school, Younghyun and Wonpil got teased by their friends for having heavy eyebags, but the couple wore smirks that never faded from their faces.

The most recent thing that he learned about Wonpil was that he had the ability to break down Younghyun's walls, resolutely but gently.

It wasn't an easy thing to do; Younghyun kept things stuck deep in his head and although he wanted to bare everything to Wonpil, to show him all the sides, even the ugly and weak ones, that made up Younghyun as a person—there was something always stopping him; whether it was fear or cowardice or something else entirely, he wasn't sure. 

His mind was plagued with anxieties, but he couldn't say any of it out loud, not wanting to burden Wonpil with things that shouldn't matter. It was his own problem if he had irrational thoughts and fears; he shouldn't drag Wonpil down with him in the dark corners of his mind.

Especially not when some of his greatest fears at present was their relationship being short-lived and that Wonpil would wake up one day finding that he didn't feel for Younghyun as strongly as he thought.

Wonpil had already confessed his feelings for him months ago, and Younghyun had done the same, yet there were times that he would find himself doubting—not Wonpil, but reality. It didn't happen often, but he sometimes felt like his relationship with Wonpil was too good to be true. For the past three years, he was only liking Wonpil from a distance and up until they got together, Sungjin was the person Wonpil was so in love with; now they have been together for two and a half months, but from time to time, it was difficult for Younghyun to believe that things worked out the way it did.

His traitorous brain would remind him: _All good things come to an end_. _No relationship lasts forever, even more so when it's high school romances._

Younghyun used their photography project as an outlet for his fears, trying to send a message to Wonpil that he couldn't to say out loud even if he wanted to. His pictures of Wonpil that he displayed in the exhibit all showed his back facing the camera, head slightly turned as he looked somewhere in the distance. Underexposed and in grayscale, the photos showed a bleak rendition of Wonpil in Younghyun's perspective. 

"The teacher said take photos of your partner's side that they can't see themselves, and you took pictures of Wonpil's back. Genius," Jaehyung joked with him. Younghyun went along and laughed, but with the way Wonpil didn't do the same and only grasped his hand tightly, he knew that his boyfriend had realized what the pictures were about. He turned to face him, heart falling when he caught the sight of Wonpil's lower lip quivering, but his corners of his mouth lifted into a smile as his turn came to show his work.

If Younghyun's photos of his boyfriend were dark and desaturated, Wonpil's photos of him were bright and vivid, the colors pushed to high vibrancy that made it look like paintings; each one shows Younghyun wearing a smile on his face as he did something mundane, his eyes focused on Wonpil behind the camera.

 _This is how he sees me_ , Younghyun thought, starting to feel guilty and overwhelmed from the feelings Wonpil put in his photos. In Wonpil's view, Younghyun seemed like a different person from how he sees himself in the mirror; he seemed so carefree and untroubled by anything. It sent him brooding, starting to worry about whether he lived up to how Wonpil perceives him, or if he was about to disappoint him when he shows the sides he wasn't proud of.

The somber subject looming over both their heads went undiscussed until they were both alone as they walked to the cafe Younghyun worked in, stopping at a small, empty park when Wonpil couldn't sweep the matter under a rug any longer. Without a word, he sat on a bench and gestured for Younghyun to sit beside him. Younghyun made the mistake of looking at Wonpil's eyes—they didn't have their usual gleam. _You did this_ , he hissed at himself.

"Those pictures of me... I was looking at Sungjin in them, wasn't I?" Wonpil stated in the form of a question. "What was it supposed mean?"

Younghyun swallowed, hesitating to answer. Being honest and open was something that he wanted to do, but it was also something he found difficult to put into action; it didn't come so easy or naturally to him, and his feelings usually needed to be dragged out of the depths of his chest by someone else. But he wanted to try, for Wonpil.

"I felt sad when I saw the photos—like we're breaking up even though we're not. Or are we? Is that what it is?" Wonpil's voice started to waver as he asked and Younghyun firmly shook his head, not wanting his boyfriend to continue entertaining that thought. "I can't read your mind, Younghyun. I want to know what you wanted to say through the project... if it's okay."

"I'm just scared."

Wonpil ducked as he tried to make eye contact with Younghyun who had his head hung low. "Of what?"

"That our relationship will be shorter than the time it took for us to be together. That someday, you'll just realize you didn't like me as much as you thought you did, and there would be nothing I can do to stop you from leaving. I'm terrified of the possibility that staring at your back from afar is the only thing I can do in the future, just like how it was before. I'm scared of a lot of things, Wonpil, and I know they don't really make sense. I'm sorry, I just can't control it."

"Why would you be sorry? I get scared about these kinds of things too because we don't know what's going to happen in the future," Wonpil spoke with a small smile, reaching for Younghyun's hands to hold it in his and rub soothing circles on the back of it. "It's okay. We'll stay by each other's side and prove our fears wrong."

"You'll get tired of doing that," Younghyun sighed. Wonpil had the patience of a saint, but who wouldn't get exhausted from always having to reassure someone that you won't cause the end to your relationship?

"You don't get to decide that by yourself, Younghyun."

He fell silent, trying to comprehend Wonpil's words; he believed everything that Wonpil said and he would try to fight the voice in his head that said otherwise. His brain might be against him, but he would never think of Wonpil as a liar. He wondered how Wonpil's opinion of him has changed, now that he knew how much Younghyun needlessly worried by himself.

"I'm sorry that I'm not the person you expected me to be," Younghyun said, remembering the photos Wonpil took of him. How he wished he could always live as the person who Wonpil captured in those pictures.

"What are you sorry for again? And what expectations?" Wonpil released his hands and cupped Younghyun's face instead to make him to meet his eyes. He smiled. "I fell in love with you because of I liked every bit of you that you showed me. And I'll keep falling in love with every side of you that I'm only starting to see."

"Even if sometimes I'm not like the Younghyun who did the things that made your heart flutter?"

"It's the other way around; you make my heart flutter because _you're_ Younghyun. That's what I wanted to show through the photos, you know. I wanted to say how much I like you that even just the sight of you smiling while eating meat can drive me crazy. It was so hard to get through all those photos and edit them because every time I see your face I just wanted to bury myself under the blankets and scream."

Younghyun finally returned Wonpil's smile, making the latter breathe out in relief and throw his arms around his neck. Younghyun wrapped himself around Wonpil and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulders, feeling spent after letting out the things that have been troubling him, buried inside for months. 

Wonpil tightened his hold and kissed what he could reach on Younghyun's neck. "I'm so happy right now, Younghyun. Thank you for letting me in."

"Thank you. For being here and listening to me."

It was difficult to open up because it meant being vulnerable enough to get hurt, but it also meant being giving his heart to Wonpil and trusting him to hold it softly—and Wonpil did the same. No matter how it seemed too good to be true, he had Wonpil who wanted to be with him and understand him. Wonpil was his reality and his present, and Younghyun will choose to focus on him and let everything else fade in the background. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sobs... it's done :(
> 
> i would like to thank everyone who read this, gave a kudos, left a comment, bookmarked it—you guys really kept me and this fic going. your support and kind words made my heart grow 100x bigger. 
> 
> i plan on writing more for youngpil and hopefully for park bros too, so keep an eye out, i guess haha
> 
> thank you again! see you in my next fic :)

**Author's Note:**

> to be continued! if you liked the first chapter, it would mean so much to me if you could comment :')
> 
> also, if you like youngpil and park bros, why don't we become friends! hit me up on twitter [@utopiadays](http://twitter.com/utopiadays).


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